Hoarding Food

I’m curious what segment of the population hoards food. I think it’s an illness; I’m pretty sure I have it.  Why does a person hoard food, anyway? Why do I hoard food? I think I’m hiding treats from the kids, because they’re kind of like a swarm of locusts when it comes to junk food.

There’s something alluring about stealing down the basement steps, sneaking furtive looks over my shoulder, and tiptoeing into the “Food Storage” room to get my sneaky snack. That’s where I hid the leftover Halloween candy last year, and boy was that fun! No one knew where I was keeping it, and I would appear with a Reese’s Cup like the good fairy. Yes,  I shared some of the loot.

I once kept a huge Hershey bar in my bathroom closet for three weeks, breaking off a square when I felt I needed a fix. This was during my last trimester while pregnant with Farley, when I lost my chocolate craving. At no other time would a Hershey bar last longer than three hours in my house. I kind of miss that time, because I had no desire to eat chocolate, unless there was a really bad parenting situation. I’m digressing.

I alternate kitchen cabinets for hiding loot as well. I also like to hide treats in plain sight. It really works, especially with certain genders who are somewhat famous for standing in a room and asking where something is while looking almost right at it.

I’ve heard of people stashing things in brussels sprouts boxes in the freezer. Of course that would mean you had to eat brussels sprouts at some point, so that you have the package. Personally, I love brussels sprouts, but I realize I’m strange. I actually like pretty much all of the vegetables in the cabbage family. But you don’t hear of people hoarding cabbages, do you?

So, do you hoard food? What kind? And where do you keep it?

Keep in mind, I don’t think Food Storage is hoarding food, per se. That’s more preparing for anything. Hoarding, IMO, is more like hiding the good stuff for greedy purposes.

So, here are some items that I hoard somewhat regularly:

  • Andy Capp’s Hot Fries
  • Clancy’s Hot and Spicy Pork Rinds
  • Corn Nuts, original flavor
  • Salt and Vinegar Potato Chips
  • York Peppermint Patties
  • Hershey’s Pot of Gold chocolate assortment
  • Russell Stover’s, choc0late assortment
  • Movie Candy, especially DOTS and Junior Mints

I’m trying not to go in the kitchen and eat the Hot Fries right now, actually.

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